Home: Family Tree Humor and
Some family trees have beautiful leaves, and some have just a bunch of nuts.
Remember, it is the nuts that make the tree worth shaking.
GENEALOGY, n. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not
particularly care to trace his own. Ambrose Bierce
I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap.
“My ancestors were all famous for military genius.”
My Lady smiled graciously. “It often runs in families,” she remarked: “just as a
love for pastry does.”
A man who thinks too much about his ancestors is like a potato—the best part of
him is underground. Henry S F Cooper
My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in
biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.
We pay for the mistakes of our ancestors, and it seems only fair that they
should leave us the money to pay with. Don Marquis
We've uncovered some embarrassing ancestors in the not-too-distant past. Some
horse thieves, and some people killed on Saturday nights. One of my relatives,
unfortunately, was even in the newspaper business.
It is fortunate that each generation does not comprehend its own ignorance. We
are thus enabled to call our ancestors barbarous. Charles Dudley Warner
I found that they knew but little of the history of their race, and could be
entertained by stories about their ancestors as readily as any way.
Henry David Thoreau
What can they see in the longest kingly line in Europe, save that it runs back
to a successful soldier? Sir Walter Scott
Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts. ~Author Unknown
Nothing is so soothing to our self-esteem as to find our bad traits in our
forebears. It seems to absolve us. Van Wyck Brooks
When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it
would be impossible to endure them. ~George Bernard Shaw
The great advantage of living in a large family is that early lesson of life's
essential unfairness. ~Nancy Mitford
The great gift of family life is to be intimately acquainted with people you
might never even introduce yourself to, had life not done it for you. ~Kendall
Hailey, The Day I Became an Autodidact
Family is just accident.... They don't mean to get on your nerves. They don't
even mean to be your family, they just are. ~Marsha Norman
The family - that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor,
in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to. ~Dodie Smith
The informality of family life is a blessed condition that allows us to become
our best while looking our worst. ~Marge Kennedy
"A friend who is near and dear may in time become as useless as a relative."
-- George Ade
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